DIOGENES "The Cynic"

[Das Nihilist]

I must disagree 'bout considering Lao Tzu as the O.D. -"Original Dude", if you're not into the whole brevity thing-, although admit there's some weird -and litteral, btw- connections: he's also known as Laozi -note a possible, but unreal, ethimologic origin for "lazy"-; he was an important figure in Taoism, also called Daoism, form from wich could have -but didn't- evolve the "Dudeism", but let's also not forget -let's NOT FORGET, Dudes-, that this man did achieve a lot of work, which reduce his mission, imho, to act as a sort of messiah, for the best.
Neither sure about Heraclitus: ok, he didn't achieve to finish most of his works, but his ethos and motivations was fiercely unclear -confusion in the arguments may be considered a sign of dudeism but, as far as the message ain't explicit, it's hard to get a concluding approach. Am I wrong? AM I WRONG? 

In my dudeist opinion -wich makes it hardly accurate-, the "Original Dude" was not other than Diogenes "The Cynic" (4th century b.c.), whose life anecdotes illustrate the duder way of life 'till, at least, his Dudeness's itself. Let's just remember a few of them:

- He didn't achieved no writing nor "profitable" work in his whole life -not even a bowling match is recorded on the chronicles.
- His first and only known activity was falsifying money -when you some coins to get some half-and-half at Ralph's, you always can postdate a check, but when you ain't got your checkbook accessible...
- He presumedly masturbated -jerked-off, in the parlance of our times- in the marketplace, pissed -litteral mean, here- over some guy, defecated in the amphitheatre, and PONTED AT PEOPLE -iniciating a whole global "fuck it, man" movement- WITH HIS MIDLE FINGER.
- He seemingly used to live in a tub or barrel at Corinto, with just a bowling Nixon poster to tie it together -this last detail is widely discussed 'til today, actually, in which he was relaxing in the sunlight one morning, when Alexander The Great decided to pay him a visit, and asked if there was any favour he might do for him. According to chronicles, Diogenes replied "just stand out of my sunlight, man, and take it easy". We don't know about Alexander's reaction to the main wish of the dude but, as we know now, he didn't take it easy at all in the following years.