Is there a Ralph's around here?
Waldo was a crazy fuck, and a good troll (good? well, maybe). He was. . . He was one of us (ahhh, have to think about that one). He was a man who loved complaining, and crying, and as a non-golfer explored the Dudeism Forum.
And he was an avid whiner. And a pain in the ass. He fucked up--he pissed on the forum's rug as so many of his generation, before his time.
In your wisdom you took him, Lord. As you took so many bright flowering dipshits, at Great Dudes in History, The Tao of the Dude, Lebowskian Theory and Hill 364.
And so, Waldo--Undude--Deraldostein, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your mortal remains............
Fuck it, I'm going bowling.