A couple friends recently took the "Gallon Challenge", and one requested that I perform a small Dudeist blessing to help with his nervousness. For anyone that doesn't know, the Gallon Challenge is attempting to drink a whole gallon of milk in one hour and to keep it all down. Much more difficult than it might sound.
I had less than an hour to come up with something, but I think it worked. I chose to read a slightly tweaked version of Chapter 7 from the Dude De Ching:
The Gallon Challenge is everlasting because it does not have a point.
In this way, you:
Make your point at the end and find that you made it at the beginning.
Chug casually down the gallon, and endure the burps and stomach flutters.
Because if you do not put yourself over the line, you will not enter a world of pain.
I would post a picture, but I apparently can't post links. Oh well.